(no subject)

[volpish]

.......reading over old stuff like 'man i was NOT nearly as good as i thought i was' is such a weird feeling.

on one hand: yay! improvement!
on the other hand: akhgsdhgcbv why did i think that was good why did i SAY that was good i wanna diiiie
on the other other hand: honestly my ego has remained roughly the same level of stable and robust for the past 3-4? years or so, so will i look back on my writing now and think 'oh god whyyyyyy' in a year?
on the other other other hand: i'm already thinking 'auhgfajytdvxbvc' at the stuff i wrote last september. (...or actually like legit anything before 'all night i'll riot with you', which was when i started to realize that yes, my otp is indeed allowed to be In Love and no, i'm not breaking any laws in writing them tight as hell, and could from there actually, like, develop their dynamic with significantly less guilt)

progress apparently means admitting you weren't always at peak Best, who knew :')

Comments

[misteriosa]

this is truly such a bizarre feeling. like, i always think back to how genuinely proud i felt at that moment when i posted older fics that i now read and think ???? what the /fuck/ was i thinking, who the hell wrote this does she even know how to write? we just don't know! and, yeah. it's weird :') but good to see the progress for sure! it's kind of amazing the improvements that come with writing consistently and how it develops over the years.

[kara_mckay]

I know the feeling. One of the first stories I wrote was a multi chapter kink fic, and I thought it was the beginning and end of thoughtful BDSM story telling. It is, in fact, a badly written garbage fire. There's a part of me that cringes when I think about all the times I proudly recced that thing -- I mean, I used to shove that thing out there like I thought it was going to win me a major literary award or something.