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Mar. 4th, 2021 09:24 pm.......reading over old stuff like 'man i was NOT nearly as good as i thought i was' is such a weird feeling.
on one hand: yay! improvement!
on the other hand: akhgsdhgcbv why did i think that was good why did i SAY that was good i wanna diiiie
on the other other hand: honestly my ego has remained roughly the same level of stable and robust for the past 3-4? years or so, so will i look back on my writing now and think 'oh god whyyyyyy' in a year?
on the other other other hand: i'm already thinking 'auhgfajytdvxbvc' at the stuff i wrote last september. (...or actually like legit anything before 'all night i'll riot with you', which was when i started to realize that yes, my otp is indeed allowed to be In Love and no, i'm not breaking any laws in writing them tight as hell, and could from there actually, like, develop their dynamic with significantly less guilt)
progress apparently means admitting you weren't always at peak Best, who knew :')
on one hand: yay! improvement!
on the other hand: akhgsdhgcbv why did i think that was good why did i SAY that was good i wanna diiiie
on the other other hand: honestly my ego has remained roughly the same level of stable and robust for the past 3-4? years or so, so will i look back on my writing now and think 'oh god whyyyyyy' in a year?
on the other other other hand: i'm already thinking 'auhgfajytdvxbvc' at the stuff i wrote last september. (...or actually like legit anything before 'all night i'll riot with you', which was when i started to realize that yes, my otp is indeed allowed to be In Love and no, i'm not breaking any laws in writing them tight as hell, and could from there actually, like, develop their dynamic with significantly less guilt)
progress apparently means admitting you weren't always at peak Best, who knew :')